Sunday, February 25, 2018

Work seems so hard lately and I'm falling into this bad state of mind where I just think things will continue to be hard. 

If you asked me a few years ago on my outlook overall, though, it was a lot worse than it is now.  I'm not at a point where everything is sunshine and happiness, satisfaction, and confidence, but something similar to that might be attainable, I just don't know when.  Maybe it'll actually get better.  Maybe there's a silver lining to all of these clouds. 

I think I've gone through some really hard parts already, so it makes sense that I can continue and make it through.  I think what gets me down is that there are just some aspects of residency I don't think will ever change, the ones that bring everyone down and make you feel like an idiot or a loser. 

I think so much of residency is being happy at home and finding musical albums or novels that elevate and fill my soul, and then I go back to work and get crushed, come home and pop out all the structural defects and dents and maybe miss a couple, then go back the next day. 

Just makes me feel more tired.  Thank you everyone, for listening and offering help

5 comments:

  1. You are as far from being a loser as you can get. You are intelligent, you are a gentle and loving soul. Your heart shines. Goodnight dear friend.

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  2. I miss you. It's June 3. I hope you are out enjoying life. I hope to hear from you soon

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  3. Miss you. I hope you are kicking butt, and taking names.

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    1. I'm sort of doing better. I just think I have to pull myself together and keep going. Thank you so much for shining a light on the good things in me. I hope you're doing well, too

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  4. I am. Thank you. I'm proud of you for stopping drinking. Alcohol makes everything bad. A beer or two once in a while, ok. A glass of wine, ok. But, for me, booze is a no no. I'm little and it knocks me on my knickers! :) Have a great day.

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