These past few days have been exhausting, as usual, but I'm making my way through it.
I've started trying to go out more a little to see if I can mitigate some of the stress and anxiety, which is a little outside my comfort zone, but I go with friends.
It's been a long time since I started going out again. I used to know how to dress and look "cool," I guess, but I have no sense of fashion anymore since I live and sleep in scrubs. I haven't bought any new clothes in about four years. My oldest pair of shoes is 10 years old. I don't really get "dressed up," but I try to avoid looking crazy. I'm the most tired-looking person wherever I go.
I went out with a friend who I talk to more than hang out with. He's not in medicine and some people would probably think he's a little "out there," and he goes on for a long time about a certain subject or point.
Our conversation found its way to Crossfit and trying it out, and he said "Don't hurt yourself, man," and talked about a few friends of his who have ended up with rotator cuff injuries or knees that aren't the same anymore.
I went home later, tired, exhausted, anxious about going back to work, but what he said is sticking with me.
Medicine is difficult and particularly challenging as a resident. You lose control over many aspects of your life. It's a contact sport involving your own psychological well-being.
You can't afford to hurt yourself in medicine.
By that, I mean, you can't afford to dwell on things or make things heavier than they already are, and you can't afford to burden yourself more.
Maybe we have to tell everyone taking up medicine, just like any sport, to be careful and not hurt themselves. We have to be there for each other, when people hurt us and when we struggle.
That sounds like a good rule of thumb. On Crossfit in particular, though--rhabdo, man. I often tell people to be cautious when they're trying something new, picking up an object, etc.--people can't undo some kinds of back or joint injuries.
ReplyDeleteClothes/shoes--it was that way for me for a long time with disability/money. Had not occurred to me that people experience the same just from work hours. One thing I have found out is that shoes do wear out with wheelchair use, but the uppers first--just takes a lot longer.
Great to hear. You are going out on the town. Yeah, I don’t work as much as you and I still look tired. Welcome to having three kids, two during residency. The longes my maternity leave has been is...drumroll..7 weeks. Yup. That seemed so luxurious. Anyway. I’m not hip anymore either. Although I do buy a few more clothes than in residency, just bc I can afford to. But in the end what helps me is travel. Not huge trips but little ones with the family. Getting out of the daily grind. I hope you will have a chance again. It is such stress relief. My kids ski so we went to a race and after that to the Grand Canyon. We walked into the restaurant in ski gear with helmet hair. Did I care? Nope. I ordered my kid shrimp cocktail and a virgin margarita right there alongside the impeccable attired Japanese tourists. You know it felt good just to be somewhere different and so anonymous. Try it!
ReplyDeleteYou know, there are a bunch of great doctors that I think would make wonderful mentors on Twitter that I follow. They care. I think it would help to laugh with them, learn from them. They travel a lot and I think you will see that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeletePlease, don't forget that it isn't the clothes that make the man, it's the person wearing them.
Cool, you only had to be cool in high school. Now being yourself is what's cool, and do it with confidence. Rock those old jeans!