Maybe it's my schedule over the past two months or just today, but I feel more depressed than usual. It's the second time this month I looked up medical resident suicide rates and read information on the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention regarding physicians. It says about 28% of medical residents have a major depressive episode and that male physicians are about 40% more likely to commit suicide.
There's just something really wrong about medical training and the culture in medical training. I usually only have 4 days off a month and am discouraged to take sick time unless I'm intubated. My schedule and the things I experience really wear on me.
I love my family and my dogs, and sometimes wish I could just run away with them to a different kind of life. I love them and everything they do for me. We live our lives just missing one another.
I'm probably due for an inspirational talk or a day off. I just want to be happy again.