Monday, January 2, 2017

Anxiety in Medical Training & My Thanks

I've been having a lot of anxiety with the new year, for some reason.  I think it's because I'm starting a new rotation and have to learn a whole new system and whole new faculty and way of medicine all over again.  It's almost paralyzing, it's definitely troubling me.  I had a stress dream just last night and I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

I'm still trying to figure out why I'm so anxious.  I think I'm just so petrified by my anxiety that I can't analyze myself.  I read a quote earlier that said something to the effect that "men aren't scared by things, but by their view of them."  I think that quote is helping me cope with my anxiety a little.

I have trouble believing in myself, when I actually am a good resident and people have praise for me. When I get praise, I attribute it to something else like luck or someone else's help.  I just don't have the ego.  I have this weird possible delusion that I think people around me don't think I'm good or smart and I'm always dreading some kind of hurtful criticism that will further erode my self esteem.  I have too many days where I think "Another day to disappoint people.." and other days where I pick myself up and think "This is a new day, a new chance to do great."

We start learning about stress and anxiety and wellness when we begin medical school, and we hear about "impostor syndrome" and "mindfulness" early on.  Anxiety and stress hit a lot harder in residency for a lot of reasons, and everyone handles it differently.  I'm trying hard to cope.

I'm just so affected by my anxiety and stress, especially recently that I've thought about seeking help. I don't know how much anxiety and stress is "normal" in residency, but I know I don't feel well.  I'm trying hard to be calm and brave and believe in myself, but it's taking some time.

So many readers have been leaving me kind comments of support and it means so much to me.  I feel like you are another source of strength for me.  Thank you so much.

5 comments:

  1. :) Keep on keeping on!

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  2. I'm a medical student myself and I know it's different kind of stress, anxiety and pressure but like you finished medical school you will get through this as well :) Keep strong and keep going!

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  3. You should definitely try seeking help if you think it will help you calm down and get a grip on your anxiety. :) I hope your new rotation goes fantastically and you learn a lot and succeed a lot. :)

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  4. Thanks, everyone! I'm going through a positive phase right now, with things going well and becoming a better doctor. Sometimes it's hard to break away from the stress and recover.

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  5. @ Burnt Orange Scrubs, There are few methods which can help you in avoiding anxiety, For example:
    1- Accept that you're anxious.
    2- Realize that your brain is playing tricks on you.
    3- Control Your Breathing.
    4- Talk to Someone Friendly.
    5- Find What Relaxes You.
    6- Learn How to Trick Your Anxious Thinking.
    I hope these few tricks can help you in avoiding anxiety.

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