I've been reflecting a lot about previous months over residency as each year goes by.
A long time ago I was working in the ICU and can't forget hearing sobbing in the hallway at all hours of the day and night.
Every other day seemed like it had an emotional end of life discussion. I pronounced a patient dead and filled out all the paperwork during pre rounds.
Families who wanted everything done often saw their family member just get put on more and more pressors or require higher mechanical ventilation settings.
I've met some med students who are so interested in critical care but the emotional aspect took such a toll on me that I could never consider it as a fellowship.
This week I will have my first day off in 2 weeks of 12 to 14 hour work days and I can't wait to just get away and think and reflect and be at peace.
I'm going to spend time with my family and hug them and catch up with them and feel some of my sadness and stress bleed away.
Thank you to everyone who continues to read my blog. Thank you for being a part of my lonely journey.
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