Depressor Anguli Oris / Head & Neck Surgery

I'm almost done with surgery rotation.  It's been the best rotation I've been on so far.  The most physically demanding one, too.  I'm pushing myself extremely hard until after the shelf exam and I'm already starting to feel it.  I haven't felt this physically awful since stressing out all the time and not sleeping well during basic sciences.

My social life is terrible, too.  I don't know how people develop these happy, fulfilling relationships, and how they look so well-rested and happy everyday, joking, looking like all of medical school is so easy for them.

I'm beat, I'm drained.  I want to just rest more but I'm not letting myself because I'm like many other people in my field who have an obsessive personality when it comes to work.  But we're turned into obsessive people because of all the competition, the cut-offs, the expectations, the subjective evaluations, the weight grades carry.

I'm socially unfulfilled.  Like I've written in other posts, I wish I could find that social fulfillment, be appreciated, wanted, invited to events.  I feel like I just exist much of the time, and have acquaintances here and there I try to convince myself are friends.

I think my mood reflects my physical state.

In other news, I've decided to pursue head & neck surgery.  You'll know a specialty is for you after you've rotated in it.  2 weeks is good enough time, after you've rotated in many things.  I think 2 weeks are the minimum, actually.

If you're doing a surgical specialty, you need both OR time and clinic time.  As well as seeing consults and doing wards.  To avoid surprises.

I decided on head & neck surgery because I loved (and love is a strong word), the anatomy, the days in clinic, endoscopy, sinus surgery, how it there is otology, a little bit of neurology, oncology, and plastic surgery.

I looked forward to ENT clinic, and I genuinely enjoy the OR too.  I like it far more than general surgery OR and clinic.  Remember to experience as much as you can before deciding to pursue something.  You'll know when it's fulfilling and you're genuinely excited about it.