This feels like the longest I've gone without writing. In some good news I feel slightly less anxious about the 24h or longer call shifts. I think I might just be becoming desensitized and numb. I started just pretending I'm an automaton doing all the tasks I'm told and not valuing being treated like a colleague or person. Just a gear in the machine.
Something else I noticed is that I hardly think about my family anymore. Mostly because I just never see them and it hurts missing them.
I wonder if things really will get better.
Is this your last year of residency? What follows? Fellowship or in practice?
ReplyDeleteThings really will get better.
ReplyDeleteYou know it will get better. The finish line is in sight. I began writing to my little girl and began writing things I didn't want her to know. I got listed at Stanford and ready to be listed at Ceders.
ReplyDeleteI recently spoke to a friend who is a lovely female cardiologist. Think of the shit you have to deal with. Then, imagine a beautiful woman, intelligent and driven. A woman who was just as good as the other fellows, but being sexually demeaned. Now I look at these women attending doctors and I really have to look up to them. I know you can do it