Fresh Blood

I just came home from working an overnight shift at a busy hospital.

It started slow, was punctuated with a few shocks I didn't really get to play an active role in, dragged for a while, then picked up.

I saw a whole lot of patients last night.  I felt uneasy about taking the psych patients just because I don't have much experience with them, don't know how to approach them, and don't feel like I have the skill set.  But I ended up seeing several patients and it went well.

I just have the smell of mixed fresh and dried blood in my mind and my nose.  It seems to have settled into this small corner of my stomach where it's makes my intestines seem to kind of knot up.

I worked over a patient covered in dried blood and I can't forget the smell.  It's like some kind of smell of rust and copper that hangs in the air and in your nose for such a long time.

I saw life-threatening traumas last night, heard about gunshot wounds overhead, saw serous fluid from an infection pooling on the floor, and smelled different types of alcohol and vomit.

I saw so much suffering last night in my patients and their families, it was really tiring.  Did I feel any reward?  Some, yes, but I always feel like I accomplished so much more participating in a surgery.

Maybe I just prefer surgical management over medical and psychiatric.  Well I have to sleep and take care of myself before I'm back in the hospital in a few hours.

cheers.  take care of each other.