Chin Up and Medicine vs. Surgery

I guess you know it's been an intense day if you write about it three separate times.  I'm feeling better, medicine is a lot like the military in the sense that if you don't chin up, you don't work right and the team doesn't function well either.  You also have to only show a strong, confident face, and just barrel through your day.

As far as the social aspect, people in your life will come and go, especially love interests, but don't let that really hurt you too much.  They're lame for not realizing how caring, warm, and intelligent you are, and they can't appreciate how much you sacrifice for others, just to see them smile, and feel less afraid.  My jealous lover is the medical career, and I've now accepted that.  Friendships won't gain depth if you don't put in the effort or spend time with your friends, it just doesn't happen on its own.

I don't really know what I deserve to have a couple of great friends in particular who always make me feel better.  Well, one friend really, and it makes a difference.  It's too easy to just get burdened and smothered by all your responsibilities as a medical student, you feel a lot like Sisyphus every single day, and then you realize there's barely any time available for the ones you love.

After almost 3 months of sleeping an average of 4.5 hours a night and spending every waking hour doing medicine, I think I'm leaning more towards surgery.  On internal medicine rotation you're a lot like a secretary or a reporter, just informing people, gaining information and sharing it, watching doctors put in orders.

I'd rather spend my 19 or so hours awake putting in lines and suturing and cutting this and that and looking at radiographs and MRIs and doing strategic thinking that leads to tangible results in a few days. I already get light-headed, dizzy, volume depleted, hungry, shaky, exhausted on Medicine rotation of all things.  I'm excited about my Surgery rotation coming up.

Have a good week everyone, don't despair, don't hurt, do your best to hang in there and come out victorious.